Saturday, May 28, 2011

Helping Our Teens - What exactly is a teen?

As a parent we here from our teens, "My parents just don't understand me!" Parents, maybe we don't, how do you treat your "young adult" You know when they are 13 they are just leaving childhood, when they are 14 they are maturing a little more, at 15 they really want their independence. At 16 they are very close to being an Adult, at 17 many are going to college and need mom and dad to understand their dreams, at 18 and 19 they are Young Adults!

I personally am at the stages of 13, 16, 17 and 18. Do you know how hard it is to work with all these stages at once? I will admit It does get a little easier as each child reaches the stage another has gone through. Although my only girl is the oldest so I learned one thing with her, and then my 17 was different in that the rest of the kids are boys. I do have to adjust things according to each child. NO two children are the same, I'm constantly amazed at this when all 5 of our kids have the same mom and dad but yet they are SO SO different!!!

Here are some suggestions Dr Jack Hyles gives in his book "How to Rear Teenagers" on how to understand and deal wit these precious people we call teenagers.

1. Remember that a teenager is nearer adulthood than childhood.
They are maturing not only in their actions but their bodies. The young person is becoming an adult.

2. He should be treated more like an adult than a child.
A wise parent will do all they can to resist the temptation to treat him/her as child but rather as a young adult. You say I have a teen who's troubled. If you deal with a troubled teen, your teen WILL say, "I'm treated like a child!' Our children have been our child since birth, we have done all the different things needed as an infant, then toddler, then child, now you have to realize your Child is NOT a child anymore, He or She is teen which is a Young Adult!

3. Exhibit patience with him.
Remember they are learning the ways of being an adult, they have limited experience. A wise dad and mom will do everything possible to exercise the most difficult part of being a parent manners - that of being patient with the teenager.

4. Remember his potential.
What can your teen do? Challenge him to reach his potential! Does he have music skills? Art? Athletic? Whatever it is challenge him to reach his FULL potential in that area!!!

5. Give him proof.
You may say what? Proof for what? Well, Teens want to know why? I was told this one time and I found it to be so true. Think about your son/daughter was 3, what was a favorite question they asked? It was Why? Now look at your teen, what seems to be their favorite question? Why!! So we need to NOT blow off our teen when they say, "Why can't I........ or Why is it that......." Whatever the question you answered

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