A Wife after God's Own Heart Lesson 5

Good evening, sorry there was a delay in the next post on this series - If I may add we've had some family matters that took priority over my blog. I missed not being able to post, I'm happy to be back though :)

The topic this evening is one that I believe ever couple can work on and that's communication.
How well do you communicate with your spouse?
Proverbs 25:11 "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver."
Do you speak right and communicate clearly with your husband, wife?

We need to be open in our communications with each other. I recently spoke with someone whom and one of the things I mentioned to this person is that I'd rather be talked to  rather than shut out. People handle things differently, but the one thing that should never be done is stopping communication.  See communication is vital to all relationships but especially your marriage. I love the way my husband explained it. It's like a game - I toss you the ball which the opening of a conversation, when you toss the ball back you are answering or responding to the person. I know this may seem like a childish illustration, but many adults don't understand the full concept of communication.

When discussing a matter, remember to use words that are fitly spoken, because then you will have a calm and peaceful conversation with your spouse, friend, sibling, boss or whomever you may be talking with.

"Make it your goal to employ that sweet speech that marks you as a wife after God's own heart."
Read - Prov 19:13; 21:9, 19; and 27:15.

You know God's way of communication is the best way! Here's a few things we can all learn:
1. learn to say nothing - when emotions come into play, Pray don't speak
2. learn to wait - If you or your spouse are tired and the topic of discussion is of great importance, wait till both are rested and clear minded
3. learn to make a list - If there are several things at hand that need to be talked about, write them down in order of importance.
4. learn to make appointments - you say appointments with my spouse?! Yes, we, my husband and I, have weekly dates now for us they can be any day of the week lunch or dinner. Since Bill, is a Pastor we work around that, but we rarely allow ANYTHING to interrupt that "appointment".
5. learn to take the blame - Now this is a hard one! Ladies, as much as we hate to admit it we're NOT always right. If something happens an we are to blame, accept the blame. I'll be the first to admit I have a hard time with that. I know I'm not always right, but I hate to be at fault. So I, as well as others need to learn to take the blame.

So ladies when you talk to your husband be sure to speak words that fit to be spoken. As the children's song goes, Oh be careful little tongue what you say, oh be careful little tongue what you say, for the Father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little tongue what you say.

The tongue can be very powerful, how are you using it in your communications.

A Wife after God's Own Heart Lesson 4b

Before I start this lesson, I want to say part of being a wife after God's own heart is being open to His teaching, to his love and his training for you. God is a God knowledge, strength, love, encouragement and he's always there NO matter what!   (that was just a free tip :) )

Now on to the lesson. Following God's Plan.....

Who do you follow? God or Man? As Christian wives we need to Follow God and His plan. Here is something that Mrs. E George put in her book and I really like it....

Warm up his life with your love
Improve  his life as a helper
Follow his leadership with a willing heart
Esteem him highly with utmost respect

By following God's Plan we will follow this simple formula.

What if...." Sometimes there's that question of the Christian wife, what if my husband isn't saved? What if he asked things of me that aren't Biblical? It's really a matter of following what God has told us to do:

To Love Him
To Follow Him
To be His Help meet

IF you are married to an unsaved man, pray for him, love him, follow him and be the helpmeet God created you to be.

Ladies, we are the Holy Spirit of the home. As we set the mode of our home. Decide today that you are going to Follow God's Plan, make a difference in your home, your marriage, improve the atmosphere of your home.

Ecclesiastes 4:9 "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour."

A Wife after God's Own Heart Lesson 4a

"Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour." Ecclesiastes 4:9

As I read this verse I was thinking when God set designed marriage he designed it for 2 but not 2 as today's world has defined marriage. I praise God I brought up in church, in the Bible, taught how to pray, work and do right. I also praise God that I was raised by a Dad AND a MOM not 2 dads or 2 moms. Now I realize that some children have 2 dads or moms because of the big ugly word Divorce. As far as a wife after God's own heart - ma'am you can't be the wife of another woman, or a man "playing" the wife's role. Doesn't work that way! So now to our verse "Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their labour."

1. God's Winning Combination -
a. The husband is to lead wife - not only as the man of the home, but the spiritual leader also. Ephesians 5:22 & 24
b. The husband is to work and provide for his wife - Ladies, if you aren't married yet or are engaged make sure your man is a hard worker and will provide for you and future children. Genesis 3:17 & 19
c. The husband is to love his wife - I've heard of marriages where the husband at first didn't love his wife and he just wanted someone to provide his needs, cook his food, clean his house. Now in some cases, very rare I might say, this might work to start. Love is very crucial in a marriage. I'm no marriage expert and trust me I don't claim to be, I do know without love your relationship can't grow as it should, the same as without Christ your home won't be what it should be either. I Peter 3:7

d. The wife is to help her husband - Ladies don't expect your husband to do everything. Be what God intended and that his to be his Help Meet. Genesis 2:20
e. The wife is to submit to her husband - Ladies with the ERA and other things that say we are equal to men this point has become harder and harder. As a Pastors wife, teacher, mom, housewife, key shopper of the home I know it's not always easy to submit. May I say, if you submit to your husband as the Bible says we are to do, you marriage will be smoother, happier and better for it. Do I always do this, I do my best to submit to my husband though with a smile and Lord willing, a willing heart with that smile. Ephesians 5:33
f. The wife is to Love her husband - Love Your husband! God tells us to love him and we should no matter what! Titus 2:4

Ladies, some of what I'll share is common sense information but you know sometimes we need that reminder because we get so busy. My prayer is that somehow, somewhere, that someone will glean from these and that you as a young girl, who dreams of being married, an engaged lady, who can't wait for the big day, and a Married lady, who is enjoying married life, can better your marriage through these lessons.

 

A Wife after God's Own Heart Lesson 3

Little things that make a BIG difference in any relationship. What little things can you think of that would make a big difference in your marriage? Just everyday things I think of communication, honesty, praying together, studying the Bible together to just name a few things off the top of my head. 

In Ms. Georges' book she list 6 things 3 of which I'm going to focus on, which are the 3 I believe to be the most important Little thing that will make a Big difference in your marriage.

1. Reading your Bible Daily - the scripture tells us to meditate day and night on God's word. The way we can do this is by studying God's Word daily. You may say but I struggle with those Bible reading charts. That is ok I'm going to give 3 of several ways I've studied and do study my Bible.

1. Reading Chart - Reading So many chapters every morning in the Old Testament and in the evening a chapter or 2 out of the New testament. (This seems to be the more "traditional" way of reading through the Bible)

2. Is a Daily Devotional - Using something such as "My Daily Bread" or I have a book that was given to me that I absolutely LOVE and that is, "A Heart Devoted" then with that I read a Proverbs a day, along with Psalms and Acts.

3. Is doing word studies - These are fun and enjoyable they also can take you several weeks sometimes several months.

As we all know, everyone learns, studies, grows at different rates/speeds. I believe as long as you are studying your Bible, reading it daily you will grow it matters not how you do it, as long as you READ your Bible.

2. Pray Faithfully for your husband - In the book "A wife after God's Own Heart" she says, pray 3 times a day for your husband. The 3 times she suggest is before he wakes up, at lunch and before he comes in from work. Now with me I'd have to be up 3 AM to pray for my husband before he woke up. I will admit I'm not a morning person. Although I believe if I determined to my heart to do this I could. But I do pray faithfully for him. Not necessarily at the times she suggest. You as an individual choose a time and decided these 3 times each day I'm going to pray for my husband.

This next one to me should never have to be decided on but it is important.

3. Plan to go to church together - I don't mean in the same car necessarily but go to church as Husband and wife. Now for us this has been a way of life from day one of our marriage! We got married Aug 24, 1991 and on Aug 25th on our Honeymoon we, Bill and Paula Seavey III were in church. Am I bragging? No It's fact we have gone to church from the beginning and we didn't once say we might go or lets plan to go this week.

Now, if you have just recently accepted Christ and you aren't in the routine of going to church. Then YES PLAN to be in church. However in that Plan decided immediately that NOTHING and I mean NOTHING will change that plan short of death.

You may say, Paula, I'm saved but my husband isn't. Ma'am let me suggest that you start by inviting him to Sunday School, it's generally only an hr. long and not a lot of people and then after Sunday School ask him to please stay for the service. If he won't don't push it but let him know you really want to stay. Pray about your spouse getting into church, getting saved and wanting to be there.

Now the next 3 points are good but I'm not going to expound on them but for different people these could be Big to their marriage.

4. Sign up for a Bible Class - If your church offers Sunday or Wednesday Night classes take them and learn.

5. Purchase or borrow Christian books - do be careful of the Authors and scripture

6. Write a letter of commitment to God - This particular point I've thought over, once you are saved the Lord knows your commitment to Him. If it will help you as an individual to write out your commitment to God then by all means do it.

*In point five I mentioned scripture - The book I've referred to a few times is not all KJV but any scripture I put on my blog from her book has been changed to the King James Bible. I believe there are wonderful books out there but you do Have to be careful that your reading God's Word when scripture is referred to.

A Wife after God's Own Heart Lesson 2

How's Your Heart?
Romans 12:2 "And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

We as Christians are NOT to conform to this world, but yet that is exactly what we are doing through our music, dress, talk etc. You say How is that? Our music by allowing CMC (contemporary Music), our dress by saying to reach these people I need to dress like them. No that isn't the case. Our talk, we use words that "technically" aren't curse words but one little slip of the tongue and you're cursing.

So I ask How's Your Heart?
Are you seeking all that Lord teaches?
Are you backslidden in an area?
We're not perfect by no means but we can do all that we can to be in the Bible and following after God's heart.

1. Deciding to Grow - Have you decided that you want to grow and be closer to the Lord on Sept 5, 2015 than you are today Sept 5, 2014? What can you do to be closer to the Lord in year?
a. Read your Bible daily - Not just 5 verses or a chapter here or there but really reading your Bible and studying and becoming more Christ like.
b. Praying daily - We're told to Pray without ceasing. Do we really do this?
You need to decided as a Christian wife that you WANT to Grow.

2. Tending your Growth - How can you do this?
a. Through Spiritual growth - make sure your seeing results through discipline. Be in Church, go soul-winning, be in the church activities, conferences etc.
b. Through Spiritual growth through self-denial. What is it in your life that you need to give up? Is it that tv program, or a magazine, maybe a book, music there are so many things one can deny themselves that is a hindrance to Spiritual growth.

I Peter 3:4 "But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." I love this verse for many reasons, one is that I have a book "Meek and Quiet Spirit" Written by a very godly lady - Mrs Cindy Hyles Schaap. I learned a lot from her book as young person as well as an adult. Another reason is We are to not have a corruptible heart. It's a reminder that we need to stay in the Bible and stay close to God as well as have a meek spirit, a quiet spirit.

3. Reaping God's Blessings - Do you as a wife who's wanting to be closer to the Lord want to benefit from his Blessings?
Galations 5:22 & 23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, faith,
Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law."
Isn't it these things that we want as Christian wives? How do you behave? What do your children, friends, church family and husband see in your behavior? Do they see one out of control? unable to manage the daily things of life? Your life will be changed if you follow Galations 5:22 & 23.

How is your Heart?

A Wife after God's Own Heart Lesson 1

I recently started reading a book titled, "A Wife after God's Own Heart". As I started reading it, at first I'm thinking I do this, or that I don't need this book. Then I kept reading (because that's how I am) and I discovered there are things I can learn from this book. So I thought I'd share a little with you. I'm actually going to break this up into several days. (I will give credit to the author when I use her material.)

Do you want to become a Wife after God's own heart?
Friends, as I started reading this book, at first I was doing it for new material to read. I don't really think I was even reading it to learn. However, the Lord quickly changed my attitude about this book and began to show me things that as a wife I could change.

First we're going to look at Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be add unto you."

Ladies, married or unmarried, you can apply this verse to your life and use now in your marriage or when you get married. Let me add a side note here, marriage is a Man & a Woman! That is the way God intended it and that's the way it should be!

So, You notice that my blog is titled "Growinginjesusthroughhisword" Friends the purpose is because we all need to continually be growing in the Lord, it doesn't matter how young or old. We are NEVER to old to learn. As I have prepared for teaching my children, as I prepare my lesson for our Ladies Conference, as I work on this blog I'm learning. Yes, I'm in my 40's but I'm not to old to learn and neither are you.

In Ms. George's book she speaks of First things First. Well, she is right we need to have God first in our daily walk with God. Some of the things we can do as we grow in the Lord is to Discover, Discern and Do. These 3 things is what she mentions on pg 16 & 17 of her book.

Discover - what can you discover in the Bible? We can discover the Love of God, The Caring God, the Providing God, the God who has taken the time to show us through his word all the wonderful things there are to discover about him. Have a time in your day that you sit down and study your Bible, and discover the wonderful truths that He has given us.

Then we can Discern - When I first read her book and I saw Discern.... I'm thinking what in the Bible do I need to discern?! Then I realized what she was saying, was what we are to do. By discerning as we read we are allowing ourselves to understand what God has for us. Pray before you read your Bible that the Holy Spirit will help you to understand his word and to grow in Him.

Last is Do - Well this sounds easy enough DO! Do Right, Do what your told, Do your work, Do your lessons in school, Do your house cleaning.... My friend it's easier said than done! How often do you know you're suppose to DO this or that but yet you don't? God has a plan for your life what are doing with that Plan?

Teen - are you soul winning as you know you should do?
Young Adult - are you staying pure till your wedding day as you know you should do?
Married person - Do you honor your spouse?

As I start this study not only for myself but for whomever will follow with me, DO we REALLY want to Grow in the Lord and be "A wife after God's Own Heart?"